I wish my penis had an off switch
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
