Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
