Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
