chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
