I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
