Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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