Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
