he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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