If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize