I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize