wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
