this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
