Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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