Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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