Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
