Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
