i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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