i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
