My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize