First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
