who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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