go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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