yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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