You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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