I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
