she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When are your genitals available?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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