Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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