I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
