I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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