forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
