I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize