your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
