I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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