I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's rum buckets o'clock
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize