i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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