i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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