she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
