Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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