Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize