I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
