gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
whose parrot is this?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
