Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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