I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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