at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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