So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
