Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
