Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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