Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
