He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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