saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize