my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she looked like the before picture.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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