Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
