So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
