she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
