ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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