Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I need to calm my uterus...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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