do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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