Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
