that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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